WELCOME

Wow! Thanks for the welcome! I feel truly privileged to be here. No, no thanks. No cous-cous whatever thingy that you have there but please don't leave! Do you want to mud-wrestle and stuff or something? Thanks for having me...thank you...thank you...

LOL! She's our cult receptionist. Isn't she welcoming. Yeah, dig in to her kuskus

Wait, now I'm getting confused. I thought that the receptionist was Maria, er, I mean Brenda. Did you fire her? Hmmm, I think that I'll just help myself and just forget about it. Don't mind if I do!

Kayla picked this one. She has a thing for brunettes with lopsided boobs. Not that I'm lopsided or anything. This one just looks more "inviting" and friendly.

Bite your tongue! She's perfect! They're not lopside, she's just standing at an angle whereas she would look more accommodating. I won't have you say another negative thing about her! Or else, I'll kill you off in my next story in the first chapter. Then we'll go to war for reals.

Hey, high school kis over here are hella posers! They're now incorporating the word "hella" into their vast vocabulary. Now everybody over here is all fucked up. They're wearing preppy gear with fuckin' mohawks, looking hella confused.

Well, I am the coolest 38 year old ever, second only to Brad Pitt. Wait, he's older than me. Now I think that there's hope for me yet.

Hey, his kids are now going to school here in Long Island. I bet you those soccer moms that used to drop their kids off wearing sweats are now gunna put on heels and skirts! MILF! MILF! MILF! MILF!